There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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