youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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