I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
