we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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