um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
