i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
