BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She needs sedatives and a leash
did you just send me my own nude
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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