So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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