I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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