I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
