just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
