i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
