Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
