I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
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Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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