so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize