New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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