god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
