My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
