I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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