Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(719): View more from Colorado

wanna go halves on a baby?

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(317): View more from Indiana

I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.

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(210): View more from Texas

You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...

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(209): View more from California

Responsibility does not care about your dick.

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(909): View more from California

He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.

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(406): View more from Montana

It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out

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(773): View more from Illinois

In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now

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