I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
