I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
