I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
