okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
