U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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