Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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