its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Last time i carry you out of a forest
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
