At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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