Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
