Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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