You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize