Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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