Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I have peed in a lot of sinks
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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