the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
His nipple licking is glorious
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