Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
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at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
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Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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