Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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