He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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