yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
