Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
