...so i touched it.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
