somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He had one of those small greek statue penises
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We got so high we made milksteak
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
