He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
