where am i from again
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
