I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
