..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
