im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
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