in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize