More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
