I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
