If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
