Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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