I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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