it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
