His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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