No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
