I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize