I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
