She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize