I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
