i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Come share oat with me in your robe
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
