just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
