Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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