If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
