I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Buhtt sex?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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