It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
