Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
