I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
